Adventures In Babysitting

Do any of you remember the daft yank comedy “Adventures In Babysitting” from the 80s? It was about these kids and their babysitters and their shenanigans in the big city. It was really dumb, but I used to get a laugh out of me, my sister Lauren and I particularly. But I had my own adventure when she decided to drop off her kids with me for the day.

My family, including Lauren, seems to think that, since I work at home, I do nothing all day. Lauren and her beau Luke wanted to go see a movie (“Suicide Squad,” I believe) and didn’t want to take the kids. So after much pleading, she dropped them off with me. Typically, I don’t mind because her kids, Jenny and Thomas, aren’t too bad.

But the full moon must have been out or something because they were wild. I told them right off the bat that I had some work to do (trying to get these animated graphics just right for a slot machine), and they promised to be quiet. After about half an hour, though, I noticed they were a bit too quiet. Like, “not even in the house” quiet.

In a panic, I opened the front door and stared up and down the street. Nowhere to be seen. Then, I raced to the back, where all the renters have access to a little backyard with a grill and all that. My heart leaped into my chest when I threw open the door and saw them.

Okay, so Lauren is going to kill me if and when she reads this, but here’s what happened. Jenny, who is about three, had “gone” in her pants and had pulled it out with her fists. That I could tell by the stains. Thomas, five, was covered in it and they were laughing, throwing it back and forth, and making a mess. Needless to say, it took me quite some time to get them clean and to make a silent vow: never again will I go on another adventure in babysitting!